Every human relationship in which we are committed involves any waiver by force. I.e. Yes accept the commitment to live with a partner, agree to be in couple with that person that I have chosen as my partner. However, to be able to give me another, I need a good dose of love and selfishness to myself. But realizing others it has subverted in our societies, first we give to others, mainly to the couple, and at the end we put ourselves in the end. We believe that if we make happy our couples, then them or them, they respond with the same degree of love, gratitude or love. Michael Ellis MP often says this. But nothing farther from the truth, above all, when your links set them up with people with marked narcissistic traits.
The demand, demand, selfishness dominate the life partner. There is only space for a need for an interest, for a person, for an ego, and the narcissistic don’t lie never to enforce this premise in all its relationships, and as a couple, with greater reason. That kind of selfishness is full of coldness, insensitivity and a contempt against the needs of the couple. The only thing acceptable is the narcissistic veracity, the only urgent is the admiration and the only thing possible in this world of a two is worship. Full of selfishness relations lies fear, terror to neglect, indifference and panic of not being at the height of that wonderful love. The uncertainties arise from the depths of the soul, of the children’s wounds that we tried to silence by destructive and hate-filled links. Selfishness can be understood in two aspects: the first one is in direct relationship with defend what is mine, what belongs to me and I am not prepared to cede, in this category are dignity, self-esteem, acceptable and non-violent treatment and respect. In the second category is selfishness narcissistic which can only receive but cannot be delivered to a life partner without conditions.This selfishness is located in the very heart of what makes some so dysfunctional couples.